I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
