Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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