he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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