I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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