My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
