I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize