Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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