hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I will pee on everything he values.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
