omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
