I need help removing her.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
