Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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