We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
