I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
