i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
That's how pantless uber rides happen
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
