I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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