Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
