i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
