Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dear god my vagina.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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