I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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