She said her name was "party"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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