The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
