I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He better not be in your backpack
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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