I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
