My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
