I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
