Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
