New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
