Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
God, I missed his penis.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
