Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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