The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
