I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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