so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
