How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
