I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
