is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
