so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
