He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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