so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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