im about as happy as oj after his trial
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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