I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
