I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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