Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
