life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
