Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the day after is always just damage control
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
birth control should be required to get into college
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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