Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
3 2 1 whiskey
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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