I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
