i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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