make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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