airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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