I CAN MOONWALK!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
