god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
