she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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