I want to walk on stilts...naked
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
