How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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