ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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