I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
