I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Dignity is for republicans.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
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Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
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It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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