tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
