Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
