Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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