i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
