Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
