You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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