I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
