so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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