i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
